The Post Turtle’s Official RNC Primetime Betting Guide (Day 1)

Dice

Time to put that call in with your bookie, because we got the only RNC Day 1 betting guide you’ll ever need!

 

 

So the official list of speakers was released by the Republican National Committee today. The only thing we know is that it will start at 7:00 PM Eastern and there are some REAL “interesting” characters speaking tonight! As being the gambling degenerates we are, we decided to create a nightly betting guide for your prime time viewing pleasure! Here are tonight’s Day 1 betting odds!

 

 

  • Scott Baio comes out to the theme song of Charles in Charge (10:1)

  • Rick Perry forgets a regulatory branch of government (5:3)

  • The person next to you asks “who the hell Antonio Sabato Jr.?” (2:1)

  • The word “Benghazi” being spoken 30 times tonight (2:1)

  • Willie Robertson, Duck Dynasty guy, says something vaguely offensive about minorities (5:1)

  • The chances you’ll mute David A. Clarke Jr. during his speech. (Important Note: for those that don’t know who Mr. Clarke is, he’s referred to Planned Parenthood as “Planned Genocide” and has claimed that members of Black Lives Matter will eventually join ISIS…) (3:1)

  • Chances Donald Trump will talk about himself more than his wife, Melania Trump, even though he’s on stage to basically introduce her. (2:1)

  • Rudy Giuliani reminding us that he “cleaned up” Times Square. (8:1)

  • The chances this guy thinks this Hillary Clinton mannequin is a sex doll. (1:1)

 

Hillary Clinton Doll

 

 

(Photo Credit: Pixabay.com, Twitter @hunterw)

 

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