About Last Night: The 2015 (Off-Year) Elections

Voter Apathy Party

Yup, elections are a thing that happened yesterday!! Who else was HYPED!!! Wait? Where is everyone…



A great man once said, “life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” Well while you were living your life, we were obsessing over politics. NO YOU’RE THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM! Anyway, here’s what happened in last night’s 2015 elections!



Let’s Put Away Our “Jumping to Conclusions” Mat

Jump to Conclusions


The above title is what every hopeful Democrat is telling themselves today after an awful night for the Democrats. How awful of a night you ask?


  • It first started with a MAJOR upset in the Kentucky’s gubernatorial race. Matt Bevin – a Tea Party darling – won the governor’s race in Kentucky. Considering he was not only the underdog, but one of two Republicans to win the governorship in the last 44 years, yeah it’s safe to say this race set the tone for the rest of the night…

  • News then started to come in that Virginia Democrats weren’t able to gain the state senate. Democrats needed to win just one state senate seat yesterday. JUST. ONE. SEAT!

  • After that, polls were coming in about Houston’s Equal Rights Ordinance. The ordinance was designed to protect the rights of their LGBT community. In a progressive city like Houston, how could this not pass? The ordinance failed miserably. (Actually, more on that in a bit.)

  • Also, Ohio didn’t legalize marijuana.


This morning many have been hypothesizing whether Democrats would stay home in the next election like they did last night. In which there’s only one real way to react when someone tells you that…


the simpsons laughing


Democrats are fair weather fans when it comes to voting, as in they only come out when there’s a presidential election. Granted, that was a good ol’ fashioned ass whoopin’ by the Republicans last night!


But still, let’s not jump to conclusions.



Then Again…






Hope in the Buckeye State



While voters in Ohio didn’t legalize marijuana, they did however overwhelmingly (71 % to 29%) approved a measure that would combat gerrymandering of their state’s legislative districts. Having talked about this specific idea earlier this year, yesterday was a huge step in fixing Ohio’s terrible districting problems.


Also yesterday’s vote proved one vital truth; that the general public actually does give a shit about fair and proper redistricting! For years politicians were using the tired old excuse that the electorate didn’t understand – and in a larger part didn’t care – about such “political minutiae” like redistricting. But yesterday’s election showed that not to be the case!


This could be the election that has other states following suite, FINALLY taking away redistricting power from state legislators. With other initiatives to fight gerrymandering taking place in states like Florida, the perpetually tortured fan bases of Cleveland could be right…


Hope does spring eternal in Ohio.



Houston, YOU HAD ONE JOB!!!


Yesterday Houston, Texas – the nation’s fourth-largest city – voted on an ordinance that would have prohibited discrimination (which included sexual orientation) for the job and housing sectors. Houston was the only major US city without this law.


Leading up to yesterday’s election opponents of the ordinance flooded the state with TV ads – like the one above – proclaiming the “danger” that would happen if it were passed.


Even though the ordinance WOULD NOT protect individuals that had committed a crime in a public bathroom or WOULD NOT take-away the right for business owners to deny males from entering a women’s restroom, but that didn’t matter. Oh also, there are ZERO REPORTED CASES of people trying to take advantage of LGBT civil rights laws. So in other words, the claim in that ad was COMPLETE HORSE SHIT.


In case you didn’t know, the ordinance didn’t pass.


Which lead us to say to Houston…


You Had One Job



But It’s Not All Bad News



You see that Houston? Salt Lake City, Utah showed you up!!!






Flipping Over the Table



(Photo Credits: Google Images, Wikipedia, Twitter)


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