The Rundown: President Obama’s Visit to Alaska

Obama Alaska Trip

Hey, I went to Alaska for a trip a couple of years ago and it didn’t make national news. Just sayin’…



While you were livin’ the high-life and making plans, something continued to move around you. What, life? No, American politics! This is ‘The Rundown.’ What is ‘The Rundown’ you ask? Other than a terrific action-comedy starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Stifler from ‘American Pie’, it’s our unique breakdown of major news stories that are currently hitting the political scene. In this edition we talk about President Obama’s trip to Alaska.



“An Environmental Two-Face”

Obama Climate Change


Throughout his visit to Alaska, President Barack Obama was touting the dangers of climate change, warning that the inherit beauty of the Alaskan wilderness was at stake. Naturally, environmentalists… were pissed?



All over social media, environmental activists and various other groups were hitting President Obama hard saying he had become “schizophrenic” in his backing of environmental causes. One of the Facebook posts even called him “an environmental two-face.”        


For those that don’t know, much of their anger stems from the Obama administration allowing Shell to drill in the Arctic. To them, the question was simple; how can President Obama go to Alaska, expound on the dangers of global warming, while at the same time allow Shell to destroy the area’s natural beauty through its deep sea drilling?        


The Obama administration has insisted that it’s shut off the most sensitive areas of the Arctic – tourism magnets like Bristol Bay – along with putting 12 million acres of Alaskan wildlife under federal protection so oil companies would be barred from drilling in those areas. To President Obama the decision of Shell drilling in the Arctic was simple, since we can’t prevent oil exploration in the Arctic completely, the second best option would be to at least set the standards for them to do so.        


The balance between energy independence and environmental conservation has always been tricky for the Obama administration. Based on the tweets being discussed on this topic, it looks as if it’s not going to get any easier.                    



Has Red Dawn Taught Us NOTHING?? 


Hey Sen. John McCain! If the 1984 classic Red Dawn has taught us anything, it’s that the Russians are going to come from the south through a coup d’etat in Mexico. That will be our Achilles heel in all of this.










If We Wrote the Pressers for the RNC: Obama Wants ALL Your Sticky Buns!

Obama cinobuns


In the sleepy town of Anchorage, Alaska, on a quiet Tuesday morning, President Barack Obama descended onto the unsuspecting small business of Snow City Café. What he did next shocked everyone to their core! He demanded that all the café’s cinnamon rolls come with him! After buying the stores entire inventory of cinnamon rolls, he shared it with his fat cat Washingtonian staff, leaving nothing for Alaskan middle-class families.


It’s time to stand up and say ENOUGH-IS-ENOUGH! Tell your local congressman to bring back the sticky buns to Alaska and leave the Washington politics back in DC!


(This message was paid for by the Americans for Sticky Buns)




The 200-Word Rant: Guys, It’s Just a Mountain!   



We rant a lot on The Post Turtle. But we like to delude ourselves into thinking that when we rant, it’s to serve a “bigger” purpose. But then those other times, we just need to get something off our chest. In those cases, we like to keep it to under 200 words. In this particular situation, we talk about conservatives losing their shit over the naming of an Alaskan mountain.


Seriously Republicans, it’s a fucking mountain top!! On top of that, stop acting like William McKinley was the Ronald Reagan of his era, when in fact most historians just consider him to be just extremely lucky! Not to mention, the very name of the mountain, was more of a fuck you to McKinley supporters than a tribute to the 25th President of the United States.


And listen, I get it. As conservatives, you feel the age of “political correctness” is claiming a proud linage of great men that your party looks up to. But here’s the thing, why are you going to bat for a guy that pillaged Spanish colonies and introduced corporate fundraising to US presidential elections? There will be other mountain tops to metaphorically die on. There is literally no shortage of things named after old-white men in this country. You can let Native Alaskans have this one.



(Photo Credits: White House Instagram, Google Images, White House Flicker, Twitter, Wikipedia)


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