Hey we did it for the Rick Perry campaign a while ago, might as well do the same for Scott Walker’s campaign.
(UPDATE: Of course when we post this, literally ten minutes later, Walker holds a press conference to say he’s suspending his campaign. #MondaysAmIRight)
By all accounts, the ship be sinking for the Scott Walker campaign. Between Walker free-falling in the primary polls and many of his bigger donors starting to look elsewhere, if you work in the Walker campaign, it might be time for you to reconsider your options.
Similar to what we did for Rick Perry’s campaign when it was on the rocks, we like to give a similar option for those working for the Scott Walker campaign. Below is a brief questionnaire in helping you to decide if you should stay with the Walker campaign or call it quits.
Answer the following YES / NO questions honestly.
1) Do you find yourself saying, “hey at least we’re beating that Indian guy from Louisiana” after every primary poll? (YES/NO)
2) Do you think talking during a nationally televised debate is over-rated? That it’s only the quiet ones that truly win a debate! (YES/NO)
3) Are you the type of person that believes as a society we should crush organized labor, but then is confounded by the fact you get paid minimum wage from working 12-hour days on a campaign? (YES/NO)
4) Do you think double digit leads in polls are just un-American? (YES/NO)
5) Has this ever been you? (YES/NO)
6) During the past two GOP primary debates, have you stared at Scott Walker, then told yourself “wait for it, wait for an opening to get your talking points out…”, only to be repeating that phrase for the entirety of the debate? (YES/NO)
7) Do you believe when a campaign donor, who gives to rival campaigns, tells Walker, “yeah I know that I’m giving money to those other campaigns, but they mean nothing to me… you’re the one that I really want baby!” (YES/NO)
8) Do you repeat the phrase, “don’t worry guys, we can fix this” at least five times a week? (YES/NO)
9) Have you been sent to the campaign vendors with a note taped to you stating, “the Scott Walker campaign regrettably informs that it can’t pay its bills at this time, but we humbly give you this intern to do as you wish.” Then all of a sudden you find yourself in the middle of what is pictured below? (YES/NO)
If you answered YES to five or more of the above questions then congratulations, you’re a perfect fit for the Scott Walker campaign! If not, then it might be time to move on. But just a heads-up, I would avoid any groups that support organized labor, because you may have burned one too many bridges there…
(Photo Credits: scottwalker Instagram, YouTube, Warner Bros.)