Master Debaters: Does Bernie Sanders Really Have a Shot at the 2016 Nomination?

Bernie Sanders Photo

Bernie Sanders doesn’t have a chance in hell of winning the Democratic nomination. Right?



Master Debaters is a series of articles in which we tackle contentious issues by doing what any good schizophrenic does best, arguing with ourselves. In this installment we look into whether Sen. Bernie Sanders of Vermont legitimately has a shot of beating front-runner Hillary Clinton in the 2016 Democratic primary. So let the master debating begin! What did I say? Why is everyone snickering?



Did you see this?!


See what?


The end of this YouTube clip of a Bernie Sanders rally!



Just look at all those people!


Yeah that’s actually really impressive, he’s really drawing in those crowds.


Exactly! I bet all those people who said he didn’t have a chance feel real stupid right now!


[Laughing Hysterically]


What’s so funny?


What? You made a joke about Sanders having a chance at the 2016 Democratic ticket. That shit is pretty funny!


I was serious…


Come again?


Look at the facts. The Clinton Campaign has made one mistake after another. Whether it’s about lost emails or the Clinton Foundation, Democratic voters are losing trust in Hillary Clinton. In a recent AP-GfK survey, they found only 61% said “honest” describes Clinton only slightly well or not at all. People are losing faith in Clinton and Sanders is capitalizing on that fact.


True, true… then again there’s this.


Clinton v Sanders Primary Polls


Drawing your base is nice and all, but they mean exactly jack-and-shit when it comes to winning elections. Just ask any George McGovern supporter from his 1972 election run.


So what, you’re telling me that Sanders has zero momentum right now?


No, I’m not saying that at all. He’s rallied his base quite nicely. He’s even steered the general discussion of the 2016 democratic ticket toward more liberal issues, but don’t get it twisted, in this campaign Sanders is Bruce Willis and Clinton is the asteroid. We all know how that movie ends.


True, because the last time everyone was saying Clinton was a shoe-in for the Democratic ticket was back in 2008. Some guy named Barack Obama came onto the scene and challenged her. As we both know, that man was just a flash-in-the-pan that was to be never heard from again!


HA! Yeah… no offense to Sen. Sanders, but Bernie Sanders is no Barack Obama!


Really now? Well let’s see; he’s a liberal senator that is attracting students and young voters – a demographic that was key for Obama to win in 2008 – against an over confident Clinton campaign. That sounds like it’s following a template we’ve all seen before!


Good point, because as we all know, minorities love Sanders. Oh wait, that’s right, THEY HAVE NO CLUE WHO HE IS!! In the 2008 elections, Obama had an impressive minority turn-out. If – and that’s a HUGE IF – Sanders were to beat Clinton for the 2016 democratic ticket, he would need minority votes. Considering the state of Vermont is over 95% white, Sanders has no clue in attracting the minority base! And that’s not even talking about the money disparity!


What about money, have you seen the amount of money people are donating to the Sanders campaign?! In just three months Bernie Sanders has raised over $15 million! That is an impressive amount for any candidate.


Really? Good for Sanders! Another $30 million more and he will be right up there with Clinton! Or he just has to average around $500,000 in donations per day, you know, whatever is easier.


But Sanders did this with only around 250,000 donors. That means he can get more money when he needs it. Regardless, with $15 million in his war chest, he can do some major damage! Don’t be surprised if he wins a few of those primaries.


Whose saying he isn’t going to win some primaries? Of course Sanders is going to win some primaries! The Clinton 2016 campaign has many similarities with some of the most lopsided primaries in political history. And you know what? EVEN THEY LOST A FEW PRIMARY RACES!!! The question isn’t whether Sanders will win any primaries, the argument is on who will win more. History says that it will be Clinton.


Well we both know history has been wrong before.


I guess, but if Bernie Sanders wins the Democratic nomination, everything we know about political primaries – and essentially electoral polling – would have to be thrown out. The landscape of political analysis would become a ‘Mad Max: Fury Road’-esqe apocalyptic wasteland!!


Nice! Could I then be the political equivalent of that guy with the flaming guitar?!


Sure, why not.


SWEET! Even more reasons for Bernie Sanders to win the Democratic ticket!


Mad Max Guitar



(Photo Credits:, YouTube, HuffPost Polls, Google Images)


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