This Week in Politics: Too Many Cooks

Too Many Cooks

Too many GOP candidates, Gov. Scott Walker is a time traveler (ok, maybe not), Hillary Clinton gives zero fucks, and much more in this week’s campaign wrap-up!

 

 

From now till the 2016 election there is so much campaign news happening on a weekly basis that it can be hard to keep track of it all. Well, fear not! We’re here to catch all the randomness that is being thrown at you on a weekly basis regarding the 2016 campaign. Because this is the news round-up you deserve, but not the one you need right now. We tend to fill that niche here on this website!

 

 

They Might Need a Larger Stage

Bigger Stage

 

Whether conservatives want to admit it or not, the Republican National Committee’s  decision to dictate the GOP’s 2016 primary debates was an incredibly shrewd move. It doesn’t even matter if you’re this guy, having 20 debates for the GOP primary – which happened in 2011 – is just WAY too many debates. But now comes the trickier part; setting all of this up.

 

As of this writing, there are about 20 candidates that have shown interest in the past for the 2016 GOP nomination. Of those 20 candidates, how do you choose which ones are viable? Do you just go with the sure-shots: Jeb Bush, Marco Rubio, Scott Walker, and Rand Paul? Do you sprinkle in some conservative crowd favorites like Mike Huckabee and Ted Cruz? How about Donald Trump who has been polling oddly well – more on that in a bit – would you stick him in the fray?

 

Setting up debates between a small group of candidates are by itself a logistical nightmare. Can you imagine the GOP corralling ten candidates on stage?! The question is simple; how do you conduct a 90-minute substantive discussion that would be avoiding a Rick Perry Oops moment for their potential presidential nominees and be informative to those viewing at home? Because if you don’t think this through, you end up with this.

 

 

Which rest assured, no one wants.

 

The first official debate is set to be in Cleveland on August 6. The GOP has a lot of questions to figure out till then.

 

 

BREAKING NEWS: Gov. Scott Walker is a Time Lord!

 

 

#2Hot4Politics

 

That’s Sen. Rand Paul’s aide David Chesley – actually Mr. Chesley if you’re nasty (!!) – licking the camera of an opposition researcher sent by American Bridge 21st Century, a DC liberal PAC, during a Sen. Paul stump speech in New Hampshire.

 

They really should start putting #NSFW hashtags on these things…

 

 

It’s Just Noise. Right?

Donald Trump

 

The thing no one tells you when you’re visiting a major metropolitan city in India – like say Kolkata – is that every night you will be serenaded by a chorus of howling street dogs as you try to sleep. It’s relentless and this happens. Every. Single. Night.

 

Yet just when you think you can’t stand the sound of howling dogs anymore, something magical happens; you just get used to it. Soon the noise just goes into the background like the whoosh of a ceiling fan or crickets in the summer time. Given enough time, it just becomes part of the cacophony of white noise as you go to sleep.

 

With every passing presidential contest, that is how I look at Donald Trump.

 

Whether he’s talking about presidential birth certificates, renting land to Muammar Qaddafi, or how we should occupy Iraq “for the oil”, it’s hard to take Trump seriously. Because when he talks, all I hear is this…

 

 

With that said, in a new Bloomberg-St. Anselm poll, Trump only trailed Rand Paul, Scott Walker, Jeb Bush, and Marco Rubio when they asked New Hampshire residents who they would vote for in the GOP primary. While those individuals are definitely the early front-runners for the Republican ticket, Trump still beat out presidential hopefuls Chris Christie, Ted Cruz, Mike Huckabee, Carly Fiorina, Lindsey Graham, Bobby Jindal, Rick Perry, and others. Add to the fact that he recently hired veteran GOP operative Chuck Laudner and a Donald Trump 2016 presidential run looks viable.

 

Ok, more like viable-ish.

 

Can’t overstate enough that name recognition is half the battle in early polling and all that the Bloomberg-St. Anselm poll proves is that people can recognize Donald Trump on a GOP primary ballot. Not to mention the 800-lb gorilla in the room that is Donald Trump’s mouth, which vomits asinine phrases at an alarming rate.

 

Personally I would rather hear this 10-hour YouTube video of TV static than listen to a Donald Trump stump speech, but if he keeps making moves – due to his name recognition and financial connections – we may have to start paying closer attention. Whether we want to or not.

 

 

Never Mind Guys, False Alarm

 

 

Zero Fucks

Hillary Clinton Texting

 

Not to sound like one of those click-baity headlines or anything, but does Hillary Clinton really have problem? I mean the amount of headlines that Sen. Elizabeth Warren and New York Mayor Bill de Blasio made this week almost gives you pause. All they did was give a talk at the National Press Club in Washington. I mean, politicians do it literally all the time. And more importantly, why isn’t Hillary Clinton – the Democratic primary front-runner – worried about any of this? Shouldn’t she be concerned that so much media coverage is going towards someone who isn’t even running for president?!

 

I think it’s this.

 

With Clinton just crushing any and all challengers to the democratic ticket, all of her speeches sound if she’s talking to the general public, not the Democratic Bloc. So while Sen. Warren has made it perfectly clear that she won’t be running for president in 2016, she however does want to keep Clinton honest to her base.

 

But here’s the truth.

 

Zero Fucks

 

She literally has no fucks to give about your liberal-ass concerns and in all honesty, why would she?

 

For politicians, the primary campaigns are all about getting the party nomination. So their speeches are usually targeted toward their base, either being more liberal or conservative in nature. Then when a candidate is finally chosen, the party as a whole supports the chosen candidate, even if some members of the party wanted someone else to represent the party ticket.

 

Research shows this to be true.

 

It’s obvious that some members of the Democratic Party do not want Hillary Clinton to get the nomination. Now if she was being honest, this would be her response to that.

 

don't give a shit

 

Because Clinton knows, if she was given the nomination, a liberal Democrat would still vote for Hillary Clinton at the end of the day, even if they didn’t like her. And it’s pretty clear, she’s getting the nomination.

 

NOW GIVE HER DAP AS YOU PLAY HER OUT!

 

 

 

And that’s the week! See you guys again on Monday.

 

 

(Photo Credits: YouTube, Google Images)

 

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  1. Pingback: Going Dancin’: The Post Turtle’s Guide to Who’s Going to the GOP Debates (PART 1) | The Post Turtle

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