A Charity Case

Clinton Foundation Logo

How the Clinton Foundation just had their “cappuccino flavored potato chips” moment.



Charitable foundations.


Or as the wealthy calls them, their Willy Wonka-esqe “golden ticket” into heaven.


Granted there are some charitable foundations that have absurd goals.



“No I will not donate to your cause Wanda, there’s nothing to save in this case. The dodo bird has been extinct since 1681! Gather your country club friends again and find another cause!”



But for the most part, charitable organizations do a lot of good. Their goals tend to be noble and they have some real monetary/political backing to them that produce real results. Groups like the J. Paul Getty Trust and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation use billions each year for a variety of causes.


Yet recently in the news, there’s been one charitable foundation that has been on everybody’s mind.


Yes, I’m talking about The Dumb Friends League.


Dumb Friends League

“Seriously guys I know Comet here is having trouble with the ‘stay’ command, but you don’t have to belittle him like that. You’re an animal humane society for God’s sakes!”



No actually I’m talking about the Clinton Foundation. There have been all kinds of questions regarding the Clinton Foundation as of late. Ranging from one of the foundation’s top benefactors doing business with Iran to accusations of US policy decisions being affected based on who donated to the foundation.


While those are some serious allegations being brought forth towards the foundation, the most damning allegations have to be the fact that the Clintons have profited from the foundation itself, both monetarily and politically. Recent reports have shown that Bill Clinton earned at least $26 million in speaking fees from organizations that also happen to be major donors. It’s the “Homer Simpson fueling his car, if it ran on beer” approach to philanthropy.


Homer Beer Run Car

“One for you, one for me, two for you, two for me…”



Now if you add the fact that Hillary Clinton is now “officially” running for the US presidency in 2016, it gets even dicier! Of 420 speaking arrangements that Bill Clinton was paid to speak at, 67 of those were also Clinton Foundation donors that gave the charity at least $10,000. As the Washington Post also reported, many of those funders were also large financial institutions that Hillary Clinton would later tap when she created an exploratory committee to run for 2016.


Now it’s important to note that none of these things are illegal in any way. They all are in accordance to campaign finance laws. But still, this is a lot like firing a missile in North Dakota.


Yes, you read that right, a missile.


It is perfectly legal to fire A MISSILE.


In North Dakota.


While firing it would be cool as all hell, that lingering feeling of “someone should really be stopping me” or “I shouldn’t be able to do something that I do in Grand Theft Auto when I want the police to chase me” probably won’t escape you.


Someone Firing a Missile





What’s worse is that the Clinton Foundation legitimately does do great things. In Rwanda they have created the Archer Farm Project in hopes to integrate independent farms within the country to create a stable economy that has been ravaged by civil wars for over a decade. Or how the foundation goes to poorer nations to create initiatives for easier access to clean water and malaria awareness. It even creates smaller programs like giving shoes to Haitian children by working with shoe companies like TOMS. You know TOMS. That shoe company that won’t shut-up about giving a pair of shoes to needy children for every one you buy.



“Yeah we get it, you’re a saint, we’re lazy assholes, now can I please get back to ‘Dancing with the Stars?’ I have to see what score that guy from ‘Shark Tank’ got with his rendition of the Tango!”



I guess that’s the problem, right? Even though the Clintons insist that no wrong doing has been done by them or by the Clinton Foundation, all this definitely gives you pause. The idea of personal wealth being tied to something that is supposed to be a charitable organization seems ethically compromising in many ways. Many of us hold the idea that personal wealth and charity should be separate. Think of this as those cappuccino potato chips.


Cappuccino Lays


I don’t care how “surprisingly ok” it actually is, you can’t tell me that it’s at least not a little fucked up it exists!


So that’s the problem Hillary Clinton now faces. She right now has coffee in her potato chips and while that might not kill your chances to becoming president, rest assured, no one thinks that’s ok.



(Photo Credits: The Clinton Foundation, Wikipedia, Dumb Friends League, Google Images, TOMS)


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