Hey Congress, why you gotta agro the president brah?
What do I have in common with the most powerful man in the free world? We both have cell phones with text plans. So I figured we use them to talk about his most recent veto threats. That’s what you do when you BFFs4LIFE!
Me: HEY BROTHER MAN!!!!
Obama: damn. I thought they had blocked your number from my phone months ago.
Me: no one can stop this ship!
Me: this friendship!
Me: see, it’s a play on words
Me: because the word “ship” is in friendship!
Obama: yeah I got it. what do you want?
Me: just wanted to check in man. see how the leader of the free world is handling his biznass!
Obama: did you just misspell “business?”
Me: no cooler. I made it cooler.
Obama: wow… and just when I thought you couldn’t be anymore aggravating.
Me: well speaking of aggravating, congress! AM I RIGHT!!!
Obama: what are you talking about? my relationship with congress is perfectly fine.
Me: yeah, whatever you say ; )
Obama: no really, it is
Me: yeah, and that’s why you threatened with eight vetoes already in this legislative term…
Me: last time a president issued that many veto threats was Reagan in 85!
Me: bubba, it’s me. talk to me!
Me: LET ME IN! DON’T SHUT ME OUT!
Obama: fine! yes, the new GOP lead congress is getting on my nerves.
Obama: a little…
Obama: I mean seriously, Iran sanctions! they can’t be serious with that… RIGHT?!?
Me: well I mean the GOP has to take a hard stance on it. you know, for their constituency
Obama: yeah I bet their constituency wants to get into ANOTHER military involvement in the middle-east. also that netanyahu thing?
Obama: like WTF man!
Obama: how do invite a foreign dignitary without letting the white house know!!!
Me: yeah no lie, that was fucked up.
Obama: I KNOW RIGHT!
Me: ok listen, I have to actually go
Me: talk about this later?
Obama: hey, what’s up
Me: you texting me!?!
Me: <= THIS GUY!!!!
Obama: yeah… don’t make this into a thing
Me: oh no dude, totes get it
Me: totes is like a thing cool people are saying, right?
Obama: can you believe they want to reverse my immigration policy?!
Me: we’re still on this veto thing…
Obama: like they had more than a year to come up with legislation.
Me: you know there’s a great golden state warriors game right now? I know you’re a huge nba fan!
Me: maybe we can talk about that…?
Obama: they never took action! NOT EVEN ONCE!!
Me: dude are you seeing this? clay thompson is straight killin’ it right now!
Obama: like immigration reform is so important! how are they going to act like I’m not doing anything!
Me: hey this game is getting crazy!
Me: talk later?
Obama: I’m creating executive orders making sure families aren’t being separated through deportation! How is that bot something! WTF!!!
Obama: good talk
Obama: you up?
Me: seriously dude…
Me: it’s the middle of the night
Obama: good, you’re up
Obama: can you believe they’re trying to roll back wall street regulation now!?
Obama: I mean, WTF MAN!!!
Obama: do they want another housing crisis by the banks on their hands?!?!
Me: ok here it is…
Me: I might have opened up the floodgates when I told you to open up your aggravations on congress
Me: that’s my bad
Me: but seriously, GET OVER IT!!!
Me: it’s an election year, they’re going to hate anything you do and try to undermine you in any way
Me: hell, the Dems did it to Bush when you ran for office back in 2008
Obama: ok, good to know
Me: you know, I think this thing made us closer!
Me: cool, I get it, you’re busy
Me: good talk
(Photo Credit: whitehouse.gov)