Texts from an American President: Veto Crazy

Obama on Cell Phone

Hey Congress, why you gotta agro the president brah?

 

 

What do I have in common with the most powerful man in the free world? We both have cell phones with text plans. So I figured we use them to talk about his most recent veto threats. That’s what you do when you BFFs4LIFE!

 

 

Me: HEY BROTHER MAN!!!!

Obama: damn. I thought they had blocked your number from my phone months ago.

Me: no one can stop this ship!

Me: this friendship!

[Silence]

Me: see, it’s a play on words

Me: because the word “ship” is in friendship!

Obama: yeah I got it. what do you want?

Me: just wanted to check in man. see how the leader of the free world is handling his biznass!

Obama: did you just misspell “business?”

Me: no cooler. I made it cooler.

Me: BIZNASSSSS!!!!

Obama: wow… and just when I thought you couldn’t be anymore aggravating.

Me: :((((((

Me: well speaking of aggravating, congress! AM I RIGHT!!!

Obama: what are you talking about? my relationship with congress is perfectly fine.

Me: yeah, whatever you say  ; )

Obama: no really, it is

Me: yeah, and that’s why you threatened with eight vetoes already in this legislative term…

Me: last time a president issued that many veto threats was Reagan in 85!

Me: lol

[Silence]

Me: bubba, it’s me. talk to me!

Me: LET ME IN! DON’T SHUT ME OUT!

Me: OBAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Obama: fine! yes, the new GOP lead congress is getting on my nerves.

Obama: a little…

Me: :))))))

Obama: I mean seriously, Iran sanctions! they can’t be serious with that… RIGHT?!?

Me: well I mean the GOP has to take a hard stance on it. you know, for their constituency

Obama: yeah I bet their constituency wants to get into ANOTHER military involvement in the middle-east. also that netanyahu thing?

Obama: like WTF man!

Obama: how do invite a foreign dignitary without letting the white house know!!!

Me: yeah no lie, that was fucked up.

Obama: I KNOW RIGHT!

Me: ok listen, I have to actually go

Me: talk about this later?

Obama: alright

Obama: later

Me: later

 


 

Obama: hey, what’s up

Me: WHAAA!?!?!

Me: you texting me!?!

Me: <= THIS GUY!!!!

Obama: yeah… don’t make this into a thing

Me: oh no dude, totes get it

Me: totes is like a thing cool people are saying, right?

Obama: immigration

Obama: can you believe they want to reverse my immigration policy?!

Me: oh…

Me: we’re still on this veto thing…

Obama: like they had more than a year to come up with legislation.

Me: you know there’s a great golden state warriors game right now? I know you’re a huge nba fan!

Me: maybe we can talk about that…?

Obama: they never took action! NOT EVEN ONCE!!

Me: dude are you seeing this? clay thompson is straight killin’ it right now!

Me: #beastmode

Obama: like immigration reform is so important! how are they going to act like I’m not doing anything!

Me: hey this game is getting crazy!

Me: talk later?

Obama: I’m creating executive orders making sure families aren’t being separated through deportation! How is that bot something! WTF!!!

[Silence]

Obama: RIGHT!?

[Silence]

Obama: right

Obama: good talk

 


 

Obama: you up?

Me: seriously dude…

Me: it’s the middle of the night

Obama: good, you’re up

Obama: can you believe they’re trying to roll back wall street regulation now!?

Obama: I mean, WTF MAN!!!

Obama: do they want another housing crisis by the banks on their hands?!?!

Me: ok here it is…

Me: I might have opened up the floodgates when I told you to open up your aggravations on congress

Me: that’s my bad

Me: but seriously, GET OVER IT!!!

Me: it’s an election year, they’re going to hate anything you do and try to undermine you in any way

Me: hell, the Dems did it to Bush when you ran for office back in 2008

Me: #straighttalk

Obama: ok, good to know

Obama: thanks

Me: you know, I think this thing made us closer!

[Silence]

Me: Obama?

[Silence]

Me: B-Dog?

[Silence]

Me: cool, I get it, you’re busy

Me: good talk

 

 

(Photo Credit: whitehouse.gov)

 

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