Can the police give me a ticket if I text while operating a golf cart?
What do I have in common with the most powerful man in the free world? We both have cell phones with text plans. So I figured we use them to talk about the backlash over his most recent golf outing. Because like everyone in the media, I’m concerned.
Me: hey, I always wondered. what’s your handicap?
Obama: great… just what I needed. you giving me guff about this whole golf thing
Me: what? naw man, you do you! you’re the PRESIDENT OF THE FREAKING UNITED STATES!!! you should be allowed on the golf course whenever you want
Me: I mean Tiger Woods won his first maters like 50 yrs ago or something. and what about that Vijay Singh guy. I bet he’s pretty good. and what about those other guys
Me: ok so I don’t know any other minority golfers.
Me: still, guys like tiger woods broke the stigma of minority golfers a long time ago!!!!
Obama: hold on. why do you think people are mad about me golfing?
Me: I don’t know. because you’re black. LOL
Obama: what? no
Obama: they’re mad because they think I’m playing golf rather than attending to crises. or that’s what they think anyway…
Me: NO? WORD!!!!!! LOL
Obama: yeah. it was all over the news!
Me: hold up for a second
Me: HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!
Me: you weren’t kidding! just a simple google search brought back a ton of stuff on the subject
Me: hell there’s even a guy that keeps a running tally for all the times you hit the course during your presidency! it’s very quaint in that “I want to wear your skin as a hat” sort of way…
Obama: yeah… secret service is keeping an eye on that one
Me: here’s another person at the new york times reimagining the gettingsburg address into golf references about you
Me: yeah, it kinda just goes on and on from there.
Obama: yeah. it’s been a rough weekend
Me: but here’s the thing that bugs me
Me: of all the things to harp on regarding your presidency, why you playing golf?
Obama: exactly! this criticism is completely unfounded!
Obama: did you know bush took way more vacations than me at this point in his presidency?! you don’t see them reporting that!
Me: also, there are so many things they could be criticizing
Obama: hold on, what…
Me: like your continuous expansion of the NSA
Me: or how you convict government whistleblowers
Me: or how you keep needlessly escalating wars in the middle east
Obama: ok we get it…
Me: or a slow economic recovery
Obama: you can stop now…
Me: or your administration being mum on net neutrality until public outcry
Me: like there are SO much more they could complain about
Me: obama? b-hizzy?
Me: that’s cool. I’ll tell you the other criticisms later
(Photo Credit: Reuters)