Before you ask, the answer to your question is yes. This was the logical analogy we came up with after two hours of brainstorming. Yeah I know, bummed us out too…
Say you had a couple. The father being a stanch conservative that believes in tough love, traditional family values, and self-reliance. The mother ? She believes that life can be difficult sometimes and it’s ok to hand out monetary assistance for those not as fortunate, even if it can become a crutch to those receiving it. Like most marriages, they have always had their ups and downs, but generally speaking they have always worked together when it came to making major decisions regarding their children.
That was until about twenty years ago.
Around the 90’s you could start to see that the couple was clearly drifting apart. So like many couples, after years of trying to reconcile, they decided enough was enough and got a divorce.
And it wasn’t pretty.
The next few years would be constant bickering back and forth, with the rhetoric getting harsher and harsher. Their relationship started to deter quite a bit during those years. It got so bad it even started to affect the children. The most recent example of this comes in the form of a house that is under both of their names and a son that wants to start a family there.
Recently their son wanted to move into a house that was under both of the parents’ names. The house was in a great neighborhood and living there would open up opportunities for him to succeed. While both of the parents had asked the child to wait while they discussed a compromise to the situation, the son got impatient and moved into the house anyway. The son had decided that he had waited long enough and was tired of the constant back and forth from the parents, who couldn’t agree on how to handle the situation. Also what makes this issue even trickier was that the son has a very large family of his own.
And of course, the parents looked at this situation very differently.
The father wanted the son and his family to move out immediately. This wasn’t all that surprising, because the father for years have always wanted a better security system for the house to keep him out, believing that the son couldn’t afford the place if the parents were to charge rent. This turns out to be false.
Still, the father’s new girlfriend, who he met a few years ago, still tries to convince him otherwise. In fact, she is so upset with his son living in that house, that she threatens to leave him if this continues. Many people who know her however say this is just an empty threat because she has nowhere else to go. Yet even with all these problems, the father clearly still cares about his son. It still annoys the father that two years ago, his son decided to spend the holidays with his mother instead of him. He’s hoping that changes in time.
On the other hand, the mother has been very clear in the past that she wants her son and his family to stay in that house, but only on a month-to-month basis. While she was caught off-guard with the number of people that moved into the house and does not approve of her son moving in without their consent, she also believes that in the long run, her son and his family living in the house is the best for everyone involved. For that reason, even with the missteps made by the mother in handling the situation, the son still views her as his favorite parent.
While the debate between both parents still rages on, the son and his family still live in the house, even though most of the utilities are still in need of repair, which both parents refuse to do until a proper solution can be reached. The question now becomes can the mother and father come up with a compromise.
If history is an indicator, this family tends to have a LOT of drama and this probably won’t be sort out any time soon.