Texts from an American President: Student Loan Relief

obama texting

All the in-depth analysis of President Obama’s executive order on student loans in a text discussion. WELCOME TO THE FUTURE!



What do I have in common with the most powerful man in the free world? We both have cell phones with a text plans. So I figured we use them to talk about the executive order signed by President Obama yesterday handing out relief on student loans.


Me: B-Dawg!!! how’s it hangin’?

Obama: ummm, hey? who is this? how did you get this number?

Me: not important man. you serious about that student loan stuff though?

Obama: yeah, it’s an executive order. seriously, who is this?

Me: sweet, because I got a lot of student loans.

Obama: well, you still have to pay your student loans. that doesn’t change. you just get a better loan rate.

Me: wtf, man! what good does that do me?

Obama: well for one you’re now qualified for the “Pay As Your Earn” program. that means a cap on student loan repayments at 10 percent of your income and forgive any unpaid debt after 20 years.


Obama: yeah. real funny.

Me: but seriously, I don’t know what any of that means?

Obama: don’t think too much about it. it’s a good thing.

Me: how did you pay off your student loans?

Obama: wrote a few books.

Me: you think people will buy a book that I wrote?

Obama: probably not. you can always get a job?

Me: brah, I got a liberal science degree. can’t see much job opportunities in my position.

Obama: LOL! liberal science!?! you can’t blame me on that one.

Me: this coming from someone who decided to become a “community organizer” after he graduated? LOL!!!

[No response]

Me: Obama? B-Dawg?

[No response]

Me: hello?

[No response]

Me: no worries will talk later.


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